Road to Mortal Kombat
by TeamTanya
Summary: Ignore the title! This isn't an actual story, rather a collection of one-shots and drabbles. This does feature characters from Mortal Kombat, as well as from Naruto (hence the crossover categories), via the Road to Ninja verse and the regular Narutoverse. Am open to requests, but not guaranteed to accept them. Chapter 2: check the chapter for pairings.
1. D'Vorah & RTN Sasuke

**Summary:** Sasuke tells Sakura that he can pretty bed any girl he lays eyes on. Sakura is tempted to give him a black eye there and then, but upon seeing a new mysterious female walking by, she can't help but wonder how true Sasuke's claims are.

 **Pairing:** Sasuke (Naruto: Road to Ninja)  & D'Vorah (Mortal Kombat X). Also featuring Sakura Haruno, Menma Namikaze, Erron Black & Ferra/Torr (in that order).

* * *

"C'mon, Sakura-chan. You see how the whole of Konoha practically fangirls over me. I'm just saying, I'd be surprised if there was a single girl that I couldn't bed if I tried hard enough." Sasuke shrugged, strolling along with Sakura and a rather hesitant Menma. Sakura wasn't sure how much more she could take over which random girl Sasuke ended up fucking this time, or his incessant flirting. At least with Menma by her side, Sasuke wouldn't be so annoying.

"Hn." Menma snorted, still upset that Sakura would lie to him about having a group assignment just so she wouldn't have to spend time with Sasuke alone. "This explains why you're such a useless ninja, dobe. Maybe if you spent less time whoring yourself to the whole of Konoha, and more time actually using your kekkei genkai, you'd actually serve some use to our team."

"Whatever, teme. Just because you're content with being the last of your dying clan, doesn't mean you have the right to lecture me." Sasuke rolled his eyes, before turning to Sakura, casually draping his arm around her shoulder. "Anyway, my sweet little cherry blossom, wanna test out my theory...Sakura-chan?" Sasuke could see that Sakura deadpanned to his advances, taking a step back out of fear for what would happen next. "Sakura, babe, I didn't mean it like that! I just-"

Sakura did not respond verbally, instead, deciding to let her fists do the talking for her...well, if Menma hadn't stopped her, anyway. "Huh?" Sakura turned to see her fist in Menma's hands, confused as to, for whatever reason, why he'd even bother to protect Sasuke. "Why did you..."

"If you're going to drag me around the village, then I'm gonna make sure it's not just to deal with another one of Sasuke's hospital bills." Menma sighed; the temptation to ditch his beyond irritating teammates was just increasing each time he had to interact with them. Sasuke spent more time bed-hopping than he did on the training grounds, and Sakura was far too impulsive for his liking, not to mention she's the reason as to why he has to put up with such idiocy at times. The quicker that he could acquire enough power to leave this damn village, the better.

"Hehe. Sorry Menma-kun." Sakura responded sheepishly, rubbing her neck out of embarrassment. "I guess I just can't help it." Mentally sighing to herself, she could feel the affection Menma once had for her slipping away. She didn't even know what she was doing wrong, but Menma just seemed so cold and aloof now; like Team 7 was already becoming a distant memory to him. She wondered if Sasuke felt the same way, but she knew that asking him about Menma was going to cause a lot more hassle than it should, if not just because she could already see the ways in which Sasuke would change the subject to how pretty Sakura's hair looked today.

"We ready to go shoot shoot, bang bang?"

"...I guess, sure. Something like that." Sakura only snapped back into reality when she heard some unfamiliar voices drawing closer to her, turning around to see four mysterious figures: a cowboy, a giant brute with a small child on his back (she figured they were symbiotic), and what looked to be a giant insect. It was definitely an odd aesthetic, to say the least, but she was intrigued as to why those four were in Konoha. Rogue ninja, perhaps?

"Earth to Sakura?" Greeted with lustful onyx eyes, Sakura sighed when she was reminded of Sasuke's presence. "Thank kami! I thought something had happened to you, for a sec." Sasuke chuckled, but it had no affect on Sakura...not until something popped into her head, anyway.

"Hey, Sasuke. You remember that thing you was talking about? You know, the one where you could woo anybody if you tried hard enough?"

"Mhm." Sasuke nodded, but with a raised eyebrow. He didn't expect Sakura to be the one to bring that topic up again, especially when he always got a fist to the face whenever he mentioned so much as the word 'sex'.

"Well...how about you put that to the test?" Sakura said, pointing to the direction of the four figures.

Sasuke, assuming that Sakura was talking about the only human of the four, looked at her with a confused expression. "With the cowboy? I mean if you really want me to, then sure, but you know I'm not that crazy about guys."

"No, silly. I was talking about her!" Sakura said, this time specifically motioning to the humanoid insect.

"You're kidding, right? She's not even human!"

"I thought you told me there wasn't a single girl you couldn't woo if you tried hard enough? Don't tell me that the great Sasuke Uchiha's chickening out!"

"I'm not! It's just-"

"I'm not asking you to have sex with her, or anything like that. Just woo her. Get her to fall with you. If you do, then I'll do anything you want..." Sakura leaned close to Sasuke, her lips brushing next to his ear, so only he could hear those last six words.

That was definitely enough for Sasuke to put aside his disgust at the thought of flirting with that...insect. If it meant getting into Sakura's panties, then he'd be willing to do anything. Still, he could only wonder how exactly this would benefit Sakura. "What's in it for you, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura grinned at the question. "Simple; I get a whole month without having to deal with you flirting with me. No asking me out on dates, no touching me without permission, and certainly nothing sexual when I'm around."

"I guessed as much." Sasuke sighed, before whipping out a bouquet of flowers from seemingly out of nowhere. "You coming with me, babe?"

"I guess, since Menma's pretty much abandoned us. But you have to flirt with the bug lady on her own, just to let you know." Sakura said, still amazed that Sasuke was still able to whip out a bouquet of flowers from out of nowhere instantaneously. Where he was able to hide them she had no idea, but right now, that wasn't a concern to her. Getting him off her back was, and this seemed like the perfect solution.

"Yo." Sasuke said, only to take a step back and raise his hands in innocence when he saw the cowboy draw out his gun, the small rider whip out her blades, and the insect summon her bugs. "Relax, we come in peace! Just wanted to introduce ourselves, that's all."

"Yeah, we've never seen you around the village before." Sakura commented. "Are you new to Konoha?"

The four figures looked at each other temporarily, before deciphering among themselves that the two ninja before them didn't look like major threats (when one ninja had bright pink hair, and the other carrying a bouquet of roses, it was hard to be intimidated by them based on appearance alone). Slowly, the cowboy put his gun back in the holster on his thigh, being the first to approach Sasuke and Sakura.

"Yep. Call me Erron. The pair beside me are Ferra/Torr, the small one being Ferra, and the big one being Torr. The Kytinn is-"

"This one is D'Vorah; first Minister to Kotal Kahn." D'Vorah said, stepping in front of Erron, who mumbled in annoyance as she interrupted him. "We are here strictly on orders to speak to the leader of your village. Do you know of their whereabouts?"

"You mean Tsunade-sama? Yeah, I could take you to her, if you want. The only thing is that she'd prefer it if only one of you guys went. Something to do with her not wanting to risk another confrontation with a group rogue ninja in her office. That okay with you guys?" Sasuke lied (although it must have been good, considering Sakura's small smile that he saw through the corner of his eye). He could also tell that Erron wasn't buying it, and Ferra seemed upset for some reason, but D'Vorah quickly dismissed their lack of approval.

"Very well. Erron, Ferra/Torr, you both stay put. This meeting should not take long."

"We're not your pets, D'Vorah." Erron responded with a glare, before noticing Sakura approaching him. "What do you want?"

"Gomen'nasai." Sakura bowed, before looking up into Erron's eyes. "I was just wondering if there was anything else you had planned, as part of your mission? Maybe I'd be able to help?"

"Hn." Erron snorted; sounding oddly like Menma. It made her frown a little, but thankfully no-one (aside from Sasuke) seemed to notice. "Well, the Kahn did say that he wanted us to familiarise ourselves with our new surroundings during this mission. You care to show us around?"

"Hai." Sakura smiled, turning her attention to Ferra/Torr. "You guys okay with that?"

"Get on with it, girly girl!" Ferra said, punching down on Torr's shoulder, causing him to growl. The menacing tone scared Sakura a little. She'd definitely have to keep an eye out on them.

"S-Sure! Follow me, then." Sakura said, leaving to show the three Outworld fighters around Konoha, as they slowly followed the kunoichi, leaving the Uchiha and the Kytinn on their own.

Sasuke knew it was going to be hard to woo D'Vorah (mostly because she looked like a damn bee, but also because of how uptight she seemed), but getting into Sakura's panties was enough motivation for Sasuke to man up and endure this ordeal. Thankfully, he was a master at striking up conversations, so finding a talking point between the two shouldn't be that hard, right?

"So, if you don't mind me asking, what is your purpose in Konoha? Any reason in particular you want to speak to Tsunade-sama?" Sasuke asked, heading towards the Hokage's Office.

"None of your business, pathetic mortal." D'Vorah responded coldly, following Sasuke's lead.

"Was only asking. No need to be so...callous." Sasuke purred, his smooth, husky voice usually enough to make almost any girl swoon. It didn't affect the Kytinn at all, however (probably because she definitely wasn't able to be lumped into the "any girl" category so easily). Regardless, Sasuke was determined not to let D'Vorah's solitary nature stop him from his current task. Besides, Hinata was the same at first, just a lot more angry. Eventually won her around...for a night, anyway. After that, she hated him just as much as she did before. Sasuke was sure that D'Vorah would be a similar case, even if he had only just met her. "So I assume that you'd rather deal with Tsunade-sama on your own, huh?"

"You'd be correct in your assumptions, human."

"I'm fine with that, but I need something in return from you."

"And what is it exactly that you need from this one?"

"I'll explain when we're closer to the Hokage's office. Nothing major, I can assure you." Sasuke was hoping that D'Vorah would make this journey less awkward by responding, but she didn't. It seemed like she was perfectly content with staying silent until she got to the Hokage's office, making life that much harder for Sasuke.

He'd try and start a conversation with the Kytinn on numerous occasions during their journey, but the most that he got from D'Vorah was often monosyllabic answers. It wasn't until they actually stood outside the Hokage's office that D'Vorah was open to speaking to the playboy Uchiha.

"Once again, what exactly do you require from this one?" D'Vorah said, and although her expression hadn't changed, Sasuke could just feel a menacing aura radiating from within her. He didn't like that one bit, but for Sakura, he'd shrug that aside.

"I need you to agree to something. If Sakura, the pink-haired kunoichi, asks, then could you tell her that you're in love with me?" Sasuke said, eyes closed, bracing himself for a world of pain from the intimidating Kytinn. It was only when he felt nothing happen that he opened his eyes again, only to realise that he would have been better off keeping them closed.

"Is this some type of foolish joke?!" D'Vorah had by now summoned an army of insects, and as if that wasn't bad enough, she had also unleashed her ovipositors, and shit, those things looked deadly. She looked ready to kill, and she sounded ready to kill. Sasuke took a step back, not wanting to be familiarised with death so soon, but froze when he heard a familiar voice across the hallway.

"Hold it!" Sasuke cocked his head to see Menma approach the two. This was one of those moments when Sasuke was extremely thankful for Menma's existence. "You're not killing him. Not without a fight."

"And who are you?"

"Menma Namikaze." Sasuke didn't know why, but it seemed that at the mention of Menma's name, D'Vorah would withdraw her ovipositors, directing her army of insects back inside her body. He also didn't care why either, not at this moment in time. He was just thankful to be alive. "Don't worry, Sasuke. I've got this handled. Go back to Sakura."

"Thanks! I owe you one, I guess." Sasuke chuckled, quickly departing from the office hallway before D'Vorah had a chance to strike.

Once the Uchiha had gone, Menma smirked, looking at the Kytinn. "So you're the infamous D'Vorah I had heard so much about?"

"Indeed. It is a pleasure to meet you, Menma Namikaze."

"Likewise. I take it your teammates are just as oblivious as mine as to our...true intentions?" The last two words were murmured quietly, not wanting to risk Tsunade or Shizune possibly overhearing their conversation.

"Correct." D'Vorah nodded. "Is there somewhere more private that you can take this one?"

"Yeah, I know just the place." Menma said, heading out of the Hokage's office with D'Vorah quickly behind him. "So, I take it that you're Shinnok's apprentice?"

"Lord Shinnok to you. And this one is his ally, not his inferior."

"Heh. Never mentioned being inferior. In that case, my relationship with Tobi is similar to yours with Lord Shinnok. I take it we share the same goals?"

"Destruction and power?"

"Precisely." Menma said with a malice smirk, prompting D'Vorah to do the same. At last, somebody he met who wasn't a complete imbecile.

* * *

 **A/N:** This is pretty much my first fic, so apologies if this seems a little...off! I've just been getting crazy into these franchises recently, and they don't get enough FanFiction love (Road to Ninja and MKX, that is). I thought I'd try and fix that with this fic! It shouldn't be more than drabbles and one-shots, really. I guess I'm also open for requests, but I can't guarantee that I'd accept it. Pairings will have to be between Naruto characters (whether that be from the actual universe or the RTN! universe) and Mortal Kombat characters, though.

Am I open to changing this to an M-rated fic? Maybe, but it definitely depends on the pairing and how compatible they'd be.

Also, sorry if Sasuke seemed a little OOC in this fic, but from what I gather about his RTN! character, he's a total flirt who'd rather love than fight (plus the Uchiha massacre never happened in that universe, so he'd really have no reason to hate anything).


	2. Duo Drabbles - Part 1

**Summary:** Shinobi, kunoichi and kombatants from various dimensions are paired together for numerous different missions, but how well will they be able to work together?

 **Pairing:** Various (featuring characters from Mortal Kombat, Naruto and the Road to Ninja universe)

* * *

 **Naruto Uzumaki & Kobra:**

"Are you the lightning guy I've heard so much about?" Naruto asked with total excitement. He was so eager to be paired up with a warrior from another dimension, and for all that he had heard, it sounded as if each warrior from that dimension had possessed some sort of godly power.

"That's Raiden...the stupid thunder god."

"Are you the sorcerer that takes souls from people and transforms into them?"

"That's Shang Tsung...the stupid lackey of Shao Kahn."

"Oh, so if they're so stupid, then what are _your_ powers, mister tough guy?" Naruto asked curiously, an eyebrow narrowed, interested to hear Kobra's response.

"I am a deadly kickboxer, armed with lethal Kali Sticks!" Kobra smirked, whipping out his weapon to demonstrate what he could do with his Kali Sticks. Naruto, however, wasn't impressed.

"Oh...that sounds pretty stupid to me. I mean I could already do that."

"You little brat! Like hell you could even stand a chance against a fighter like me!" Kobra scowled, lunging towards the notorious knucklehead of Konoha. He tried to punch Naruto square in the face, but was shocked to see that the kid's reflexes were far better than he could have imagined.

"Is that all you got? Come on, I thought you were gonna be better than that!" Naruto goaded, before mustering up the chakra to attack Kobra with a number of shadow clones. Effectively able to distract the other man with his jutsu, Naruto had garnered plenty of time to work on his Rasengan, using that to render Kobra unconscious. "You're down already? Looks like I'm gonna have to talk to Baa-chan about getting a better teammate."

* * *

 **Neji Hyuuga (RTN) & Mileena:**

"So...you and I?" Mileena asked, in a predatory tone, eyeing up the Hyuuga boy like he was a piece of fresh meat. She would have definitely licked her lips if she could. Neji was an attractive ninja, no doubt about that. He was much easier on the eyes than the ninja that Mileena had been accustomed to seeing in Outworld and Edenia.

"Well, if you insist!" Neji grinned lecherously, activating his Byakugan. Apparently Mileena hadn't heard much about Neji's reputation, interpreting his use of the Byakugan as a fighting technique. Technically it was, but not when paired against a beautiful woman, such as Mileena. In such a case, the Byakugan was a technique notoriously used by Neji solely for perverse and voyeuristic purposes. "Nice underwear, by the way. Not like those stupid sports bras Tenten-chan wears."

"What?" It took a second for Mileena to realise what was going on, before pouncing on the unsuspecting Hyuuga. "Oh, I see! You're after the Empress of Outworld, aren't you?"

"Well, I guess that's one way of putting it." Neji smirked, swiftly realising that Mileena was actually pleased to find out that he had been glancing at her body, otherwise he was sure that she would have ripped him a new one by now. It made a pleasantly refreshing change from all the kunoichi in the village who tried to beat the crap out of him for the same thing. before making quite possibly the worst mistake of his entire life by deciding to glance up at Mileena's face, horrified to discover what was hidden behind her mask. "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! MY EYES! SOMEBODY PLEASE GOUGE THEM OUT!"

"I will gladly do the honors, you ungrateful little brat!" Mileena's pleasure quickly turned into unbridled anger, furious to find out that Neji was just another pathetic little man, not brave enough to see past her razor sharp teeth. Why else would he suddenly react in such a way, when every other part of Mileena's appearance was pleasing to the eye? Whipping out her sai, Mileena tried vehemently to stab Neji in the eye with her trusted weapon, yet failing to achieve her goal due to him frantically flailing around from the horror of what his Byakugan had witnessed

Despite unknowingly fighting for his life against a pissed off Tarkatan, Neji could at least say that he had learned one very valuable lesson today: only use Byakugan to observe the beauty of a kunoichi from the neck downwards.

* * *

 **Rock Lee & Liu Kang:**

"Now will you ask for my forbearance?" Liu Kang said, looking down at a physically weakened Rock Lee. From the moment that he saw the annoying buffoon's physical appearance, he knew that the green-clad shinobi didn't have what it took to fight by his side.

"Never!" Rock Lee may have been battered and bruised from his combat with the more experienced Liu Kang, but that would not be enough to make him give up. "I may not specialise in Ninjutsu or Genjutsu, but that is not going to stop me from proving my worth to you!" Slowly rising up from the ground, Rock Lee felt enough fire and adrenaline inside of him to give Liu Kang as much fight as it would take to show his true potential.

"Then I will end you where you-" Liu Kang wasn't fast enough to finish his sentence, getting launched into one of the nearby trees after feeling a stinging Dynamic Entry from the young shinobi. To say that Liu Kang was shocked was an understatement. Rubbing the cheek that had just been vehemently kicked, Liu Kang looked up at Rock Lee. "H-How did you do that? Your speed...it's not natural."

"As I said earlier, I don't specialise in Ninjutsu or Genjutsu. I merely specialise in Taijutsu, meaning that what you see is what you get." Rock Lee slowly approached the older man, extending a hand out of respect. "I have worked hard to get my Taijutsu where it is today. That is why I believe that I would be a worthy ally of yours, mister..."

"Liu Kang. Feel free to refer to me solely as that." Liu Kang smiled slightly, accepting Lee's hand. "I guess the shinobi of this world aren't to be underestimated."

"Indeed not. All of us in the village have worked hard to develop our skills and specialties!" Once he felt Liu Kang accept his hand, Lee felt the need to help the other man onto his feet. "Now, let me introduce you to Gai-sensei, the most incredible ninja in all of Konoha!"

It was only a matter of time before Liu Kang would realise exactly what he was getting himself into.

* * *

 **Chouji Akimichi (RTN) & Bo' Rai Cho:**

"I never thought I'd have to ask a grown ninja such a question, but is there any point of you even being on the battlefield in such a drunken state?" Choji sighed, noticing Bo' Rai Cho swig down a whole bottle of alcohol, as they fought together against a group of rogue ninja.

Bo' Rai Cho heartily chuckled at this, before swiftly pulling out a torch and igniting it. Then, taking a swig of alcohol, Bo' Rai Cho spat out the drops of liquor into the torch, lighting numerous of his opponents on fire. The astounded expression on Choji's face was enough to elicit another laugh from the older man. "It seems as if you aren't familiar with my work, young one."

"That's certainly one way of putting it." Choji said, looking at Bo' Rai Cho dead in the eye. "I don't know if I should be intrigued by your...unique jutsu, or disgusted by how carelessly you consume alcohol in the middle of combat."

"Maybe this will help you to make your decision." Bo' Rai Cho smirked, hearing the battle cry of a few remaining rogue ninja dashing from behind. Grabbing his torch from earlier and lighting it on fire once again, this time he farts into said torch, engulfing the opposing ninja in obnoxiously bright green colored flames. "That was a wet one!"

If the idiom _'a picture is worth a thousand words'_ was ever appropriate, it was most definitely in this scenario, with Choji's reaction to what he had just observed. "...Disgusted it is."

* * *

 **Kakashi Hatake & Frost:**

"Kuai-Liang!" Frost shouted, in what seemed like a moment of rage-induced madness, as she approached the masked shinobi. Kakashi could easily sense the heat and anger radiate from this woman, despite what her appearance suggested.

"No."

"Bi-Han!"

"No."

"Liar!" Frost was determined to end this vile deceiver. For what her former master had done to her, he could not escape from her wrath so easily. "You cannot fool me this time, Sub-Zero!"

"Well, don't say I didn't try to warn you." The masked shinobi could only sigh at this, watching Frost attempt to prepare an attack on him. Fortunately enough for Kakashi, Frost was a completely inferior ninja to him, so a simple Chidori would be enough to silence her for a while.

Once she had been launched a good few hundred yards away, the Jonin had no hesitation to whip out his latest unfinished copy of Icha Icha Paradise, hoping that this time, he'd be able to reach the next page without some sort of disturbance.

* * *

 **A/N:** I did say there would be drabbles to come! There will be more drabbles in the next chapter, as well, just to warn y'all!

The only reason I named this chapter "Duo Drabbles" was because the drabbles focused on a group of duos (Mileena/Neji, Kobra/Naruto, etc.). Not the most creative of titles, but hopefully the content made up for that!

It's also really convenient that the RTN!verse got some spotlight this past week in the anime when Tenten's dream got revealed. It's a huge help with getting to grip with the RTN!verse characters.


	3. Duo Drabbles - Part 2

**Summary:** Shinobi, kunoichi and kombatants from various dimensions are paired together for numerous different missions, but how well will they be able to work together?

 **Pairing:** Various (featuring characters from Mortal Kombat, Naruto and the Road to Ninja universe)

* * *

 **Sakura Haruno & Sareena:**

"You still love this Sasuke Uchiha? Despite all the things that he tried to do to you?"

Sakura only sighed, knowing how hard it'd be to explain this to a total stranger. "I know I shouldn't. I should have probably stopped loving him when he left Team 7, or when he tried to kill me, Naruto-kun and Kakashi-sensei...but I still do. I'm probably stupid for doing so, but-"

"You're not. Or if you are, then so am I." Sareena said with a soft smile, hoping it'd lift Sakura's mood. "When I was under Quan Chi's sorcery, there was a warrior that I almost felt an immediate attraction to...Bi-Han. I dismissed it at first, mostly because he seemed to be the enemy, but that could not have been farther from the truth. When he was able to direct me towards the path of light and show me the error of my ways, my feelings for him only grew tenfold. I felt attracted to him, but this time beyond what was on the outside. I felt attracted to his pure soul."

"Where is Bi-Han now?" Sakura asked, regretting that question as soon as she saw Sareena's expression deflate. "Sorry...I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's fine. Bi-Han is now under the sorcery of Quan Chi, as I once was. His death allowed Quan Chi to resurrect him under a new alias: Noob Saibot. I wish I could have been there to save him. Now I can only try to repay the favor that he did for me." Sareena sighed, before looking into Sakura's emerald green eyes. "Promise me one thing. This boy, Sasuke...never give up on him. One day, he will see everything that you've done to help him see the light, and he will be grateful for it."

"Yeah. I promise."

* * *

 **Sasuke Uchiha (RTN) & Jacqui Briggs:**

"Come on, kitten...please?"

"No, for the last time!" Jacqui sighed, trying to worm away from Sasuke's hand creeping onto her thigh, as she listened to the fifth time Sasuke offered her an 'intimate night of the most blissful pleasure'

"Please? I can just tell that your face is longing for love...something I can provide in doses!"

"Maybe if I was single...and if you were a few inches taller." Jacqui sighed. She really didn't want to let Sasuke down harshly, because he seemed like a nice guy. He was just a love-struck nuisance.

"I won't tell if you don't." Sasuke smirked, this time trying to drape his arm around the ebony woman's shoulder. "And trust me, I can get bigger for you...however you want, baby."

"You _really_ are something else, I'll give you that. Look, if you're not gonna assist me, then I may as well go. Between pissing me off and being unable to focus on the enemy, I wouldn't want you getting severely hurt." Jacqui turned her back to the horny shinobi, getting ready to leave until she heard him scream.

"Wait, please! Don't! I do want to help, I promise!" Sasuke frowned at the very thought of this beautiful woman leaving him on his own. "Just give me a chance, please?"

"Look, I can't believe I'm even contemplating this...but if I do this...you know, sex...with you, you'll leave me alone, right?"

"Yeah! Totally!"

Jacqui sighed. She didn't know whether she could trust Sasuke, but facing an entire rebel army of rogue ninja on her own didn't sound promising, and from what she had heard, Sasuke was quite the accomplished shinobi. Help like that would have been greatly appreciated. "Fine, but I swear to god, if you tell _anyone_ , and I mean _anyone_ , about this, then I will shoot you in every part of your body. Understand?"

Sasuke nodded merrily. Oh, Sasuke understood alright...he really understood what it took to get between a woman's legs.

* * *

 **Shikamaru Nara & Ferra/Torr:**

"Pineapple go squish squish!" Ferra cackled, complete with the little hand motions to go with her threat (that didn't sound as menacing as it should have done, with her voice being so high-pitched).

This was _meant_ to have been a group assignment, but of course Shikamaru was left with the bloodthirsty symbiote. Of course Ino ran off with Erron Black, solely on the basis of looks (why else would she show attraction to emotionless men like Sasuke and Sai). Of course Choji ran off with D'Vorah, solely on the basis of food (and Shikamaru still couldn't understand how Choji thought bugs and slugs would have made for a satisfying snack).

Now Shikamaru actually had to listen to the inane blabbering that Ferra had been doing for the past ten minutes, try and understand what she actually meant, and how this related to the low-pitched growls that erupted from Torr. They may have been a simple pair, but their gibberish was troublesome for Shikamaru to decipher.

It was only when he could sense a large, brutish figure charging from behind that he understood Ferra/Torr's true intentions, stopping them with his Shadow Sewing Technique.

"What you do?" Ferra yelled, trying to move her body away from the shadows, but having no such luck. It appeared that Torr was in the same situation, only being able to growl out of frustration. "We no like dark! Get us out of dark!"

"And get me killed as a result?" Shikamaru said, with a typically bored expression on his face. "You guys are beyond troublesome."

* * *

 **Tenten (RTN) & Jade:**

Jade could only cringe, watching Tenten add yet another scar to the collection of cuts, bruises and welts that she had acquired from attempting to master her weaponry.

"Stupid weapons...I swear, I really am better at hand-to-hand combat." Tenten sheepishly smiled, trying to soothe the cut she had just gotten on her cheek.

"I'd like to think you were. Regardless, we need to work on your weaknesses." Jade smiled, wanting to make sure that Tenten wouldn't give up so easily. "Here, take this." Jade said, handing her trusted Bō to the bandaged and bruised ninja. "I noticed that you haven't attempted much training with weapons of this variety...weapons that you aren't able to throw around."

"Oh no! I...I couldn't! Not with your weapon! I might break it!" Tenten said, desperate to hand Jade back the staff that she trusted the younger kunoichi with.

"With that attitude, you will. Just relax. Use that tree over there as a target." Jade said, gesturing over to a nearby tree; one that looked particularly sturdy, able to handle more damage. "As long as you're able to stab the tree with my Bō without hurting yourself, then you've already made progress."

"If you say so..." Tenten nervously responded, inhaling a deep breath, before she would go ahead. Letting out a loud battle cry with her eyes shut (Jade observed Tenten's closed eyes and assumed that this would be a disaster waiting to happen), Tenten charged towards the large tree, yelling when she stabbed it with the long weapon. When her eyes were open, Tenten was thrilled to see that she hadn't suffered any damage. "Hey, Jade, I did it! I actually did it!" Now all she had to do was pull the weapon out of the tree...which for somebody like Tenten, proved to be rather difficult.

"Do you need me to help?" Jade asked just seconds before cringing, watching Tenten fall to the ground, very nearly impaled by the staff that she was barely able to pull out. "This is going to be a long day for sure..."

* * *

 **Ino Yamanaka & Takeda:**

"Sasuke?!" Ino yelled from the counter, utterly aghast at the idea of Sasuke suddenly returning to her flower shop, of all places! She definitely wasn't going to complain about the idea, but it was definitely shocking, to say the least.

"Don't know who that is. Sorry ma'am." Takeda chuckled sheepishly, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck.

"Oh." Ino sighed, a little deflated that the man of her dreams hadn't returned to ideally give her a bouquet of lilacs. This man definitely wasn't Sasuke, the high-pitched voice was enough proof of that. "My apologies."

"No problem. To be honest, you remind me a little of someone too."

"Oh really?" Ino suddenly smirked. "Would I happen to know this person?"

"Probably not. Does Cassie Cage ring any bells?"

"Can't say it does. Girlfriend?" Ino asked, with lustful eyes.

Not that Takeda was aware, of course. He thought Ino was referring to Cassie, rather than his relationship status with Jacqui. "No! I'm-"

That was all the confirmation Ino needed, before she pulled Takeda over the counter, straddling him before the Shirai Ryu member had a chance to fight back. "Good, because now you're all mine, cutie!"


End file.
